My Lord has given me a very difficult life .

“Reproach has broken my heart and I am so sick.
And I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
And for comforters, but I found none” (Psalm 69:20 NASB).

I love how the Bible is fulfilled even in minuscule details. My Lord told His 12 sent ones that the students are not above their teacher, nor the slaves above their master (Matthew 10:24), and promised them persecution and hate from the great majority of people in the world, and acceptance from those chosen by God for salvation, just like Israel had done to Him. The Messiah with these words is telling us that His people are so identified with Him that they will suffer the same fate as He did. The apostles, when writing the New Testament Epistles, confirmed this identification between the Lord of glory and His bride. The apostle Paul, specifically, uses the term “in Christ” more than any other writer. The idea is always the same: believers are so united with Jesus that whatever He lived, we will live it too. If He died and He did, we will die too. If He resurrected to glory, and He did, we will also resurrect to glory and reign with Him. I find it fascinating and faith-confirming when little details of the life of my Master also come to pass in my life, as incomparable as my life is to His. Nonetheless, every time His Word is fulfilled in me, it affirms what I already know: I am one with Christ, and that is healing and comfort to my broken heart.

It is without a doubt that the Father’s agenda for His Son was not an easy one. Yes, His latter days will be filled with glory, honor, praise, dominion and service from millions of redeemed humans (Numbers 24:17-19, Micah 5:2-4, Isaiah 53:12), but His beginning was supposed to be small, unimportant and with much anguish and sorrow. This is something the Jewish people of all ages and many Gentiles as well have missed or dismissed altogether, and I do not blame them since a crucified Messiah is a very hard sale. Nevertheless, the Bible is filled with prophecies about the sufferings of the Anointed One, starting with Genesis 3:15. When Christ confronted His disciples after the resurrection for their disbelief towards the Scriptures, He reaffirmed the Father’s agenda, that the Messiah was first to be bruised and then entered into His glory (Luke 24:26). However, this part of Father’s agenda was not only for His Son, but is also for those who follow Him. Paul tells us that believing in Christ and suffering for Him is a combo that all Christians must receive because it has been freely granted by the Father (Philippians 1:29). Now this is easier said than done. For who embraces sufferings, pain and sorrow with joy?

Examining Psalm 69 has made me realize that David and his Son, who is also his Lord and mine, were not the only ones to live it. I too have been granted the opportunity to live it out. I know it is an honor to suffer for His sake beyond descriptions, but it is a very difficult honor indeed. I too have become a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). Reproach and loneliness have broken my heart, and I have too looked for comforters, but I have found none (Psalm 69:4). Surely, my Lord has been pleased to crush me, putting me to grief (Isaiah 53:10). I have come to experience Psalm 77 in its entirety: my soul has refused to be comforted, I have been disturbed when remembering my God, my Master has held my eyelid open, I have asked Him if He will reject me forever, if He will never be favorable again, if His loving kindness already ceased forever, if His Word came to an end, if He has forgotten to be gracious or if in His anger, He has withdrawn his compassion towards me, in the midst of pondering about this grief, I have become fully aware that my God has made bereft of lover and friends, and that darkness has become my acquaintance (Psalm 88:18).

At the same time, my feet have almost slipped like Asaph’s when seeing the prosperity and ease of the people who don’t love Christ and who are not interested in His gospel (Psalm 73:2-3). I have become pricked to my heart when I have seen others who are not troubled nor plagued like mankind (Psalm 77:5). I have become furious at the seemingly indifference of God when others ” set the mouth against the heavens and their tongues parade through the earth” (Psalm 77:9 NASB), and yet no justice seems to fall on their heads. In my frustration, I have exclaimed: “[s]urely in vain I have kept my heart pure and washed my hands in innocence” (Psalm 77:13 NASB). Like Asaph and many other godly men, I have experienced the paradox: godly people suffer unjustly, and wicked, unbelieving people enjoy pleasures beyond measure. Does this all mean that I will reject the truth I know? Will I forget the One who has not forgotten me (Deuteronomy 31:6)? Should I trample under my feet the Son of God, regard the blood of the covenant as unclean and insult the Spirit of grace? (Hebrews 10:29). As Simon Peter confessed, I too confess: to whom shall I go? Jesus alone has the words of eternal life, and I have believed that He is the Messiah, the  Holy Son of God (John 6:68-69).

Therefore, like my brother, Job, I have to learn to stay under suffering until the Righteous, Good Judge decides  to bring peace and deliverance from all my troubles. I must confess:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21 NASB).